I use to question all these things as well, only to discover I was going around in circles, each question would open the next door, it was like a ferris wheel going around in circles and I was on it jumping from car to car... doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result... but I do believe that all the questioning I did brought me to the next step
Then I had a personal profound experience , through my fathers death - the questions just stopped.. this experience hit me so hard, so profoundly that I now find humour in the questions I use to have, and where I reside now is exactly where I want to die......I live to die......... and I don't care what is underneath the earth, it no longer matters to me, it is redundant (from this present view)
However looking back
when I step back and observe all the religions of the world, and all the beliefs therein , and the books and the doctrines , the guest speakers, the traditions and rituals, the patriotism to the beliefs, the special holdiays, the laws , ......... I see mans discontent with self,mans unspoken ,unrecognised truth to why he is seeking , what he is seeking and that is the cataylist underneath all relgions and they are necessary , but not the end....... some will get it* , some probably won't , the meaning is lost in the questioning, the ego wins , and man carrys on with his quest........ and that is apart of it, revealing his unhappiness, his discontent with self and others, and the sunday worship ritual makes him smile, he may or may not believe deeply what he is being taught... he may say he does to make his wife or kids happy
he may follow his path because his parents did and he doesn't want to upset them or rock the harmony boat....
maybe he will have a profound* experience.... (I hope so), then he will slowly become a more compassionate man, he will become others focused instead of ego driven... you will look at him and say to your self "hey he is different, there is something different about him"... you won't know why or how.. but you will see it....... he will talk a little different, he will have a new hobby , bird watcher, or pic up painting, and he never did this before... and you will be attracted to his nature, his kindness will make you smile
and you will say , hey he has been to heaven :-)
If once you have slept on an island
you will never be quite the same
You will walk as you did the day before
and go by the same old name
You may bustle about in street and shop
You may sit at home and sew
But you'll see blue water and wheeling gulls
Wherever your feet may go.
Oh, you won't know why,
and you can't say how
such change upon you came
But- once you have slept on an island
You'll never be quite the same!
Racheal Field
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