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We are both insecure because we have been hurt in previous relationships so we are very easy to hide behind our wall.
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The first step is recognising that your ego is in the house...
then you can start working on this seperately
..... if one of the two of you don't over come the reacting* then you both could end up just fueling the problem so to speak... and it could ruin chances for a healthier quality relationship
or else the continues hurting and the apolgies won't mean anything... if there is not change
so my thoughts are deal with the immediate:-)) Good luck