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Originally Posted by The David  I'm a little curious about exactly how bad this is. Is everyone mean to you? How are you with people? Some of those insults sound juvenile--insulting your physical features and/or ethnicity is the mark of a bully. But things like 'bad attitude' and '♥♥♥♥♥' concern me. I'm not calling you a ♥♥♥♥♥, and I probably wouldn't if I knew you, but how much have you considered the idea that you might be attracting some of this? The world is not a bully, it has bullies in it. It also has a lot of nice people, and you have to learn to look for them. Any chance some of their criticism is valid? Are you excessively irritable with people? Are you the kind of person who 'brings the atmosphere down'? |
I'm usally called a "♥♥♥♥♥" when someone says something to insult my appearance or intelligence and then I say something just as bad to get back at them. I see it as giving back to them exactly what they give to me. Sometimes I actually get tired of sitting there and taking someone's insults with a smile and then getting upset later when I can just deal with it then by being nasty to them. Other times I'm being "mean" because I don't let people have their way with me. It's either, I refuse to give someone something of mine or I don't want to date them. Somehow I'm being "mean" when everyone else is being normal.
I used to talk back to my friends on some occasions because they would say something smart-mouthed and they would get upset because of what I said - totally ignoring the fact that if they hadn't said what they said I wouldn't have talked back to them in a mean way. One good example is when a co-worker was trying to tell me something and I had to tell her that she was wrong although I didn't secifically tell her that. I told her that "this is how it is as far as I know and I got the manager's approval so you can believe what you want." People get really pissed off at my indifference and the fact that I will not argue with them. They want me to say they are right and I won't. Another person once said something completely off the wall about me and I immediately corrected him. He said I could really be a ♥♥♥♥♥ if I wanted to. I told him, if standing up for yourself is being a ♥♥♥♥♥, then so be it.
I once told a guy I didn't want to date him and since people "don't get it" when I'm "nice" and "subtle" I decided to be blunt and tell him he was unattractive, controlling, and we had different interests. He got upset and said I could have been a bit nicer in saying that I didn't want to date him. No one spares me that kind of courtesty so why should I?
Another guy told me I was "mean" because I didn't really want to talk to him (he was trying to ask me out). I was trying to ignore him so I could get out of the store. The guy thought that insulting me was going to get him a date. I usually just ignore a lot of guys who try to say hello to me because I don't think they are really interested in me. They get mad, knowing full well that they were just trying to get a number from me and then move one.
A lot of people tell me to "smile" or ask why I "look mad" when I am out walking in public. I get mad at them and either ignore them or tell them to "shut up" because they don't know what I am going through.
It's really bad at work, with people telling me to smile or asking me why I look pissed off. Another co-worker said that when her wedding comes up in the future, she "only wants happy, positive people" there. She didn't say specifically that she didn't want me to be there but I know she was talking about me. It really pissed me off how she said it and how she will always say crap like "you are so weak" or "at least I hold my head up". Other people will be like, "I smile no matter what" or "I give to people knowing I won't give anything back". I think they are pretty much mocking me when they talk like this to me.