It seems so easy for everyone around me to stand up for themselves. I just can't do it because of the consequences. One of my friends slapped me once because I stood up to her and another friend pushed me because I got tired of him talking down to me. A woman at work wouldn't speak to me for two months because I told her she was wrong about a specific job policy. A roommate in college left our dorm in a disgusting mess for weeks because I refused to clean up after her.
These are the kinds of things that happen to me when I do stand up for myself. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.
Yesterday, a co-worker called me "crazy" to my face and started mocking me and my soft-spoken voice. I wanted to say something but I froze. I'm mad as hell about it now because I realize that she insulted me and then brushed it off as if it were nothing.
I don't think I could ever change. People will always treat me badly.
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