Detachment is harsh. The opposite of love isn't hate, but apathy. I think the proper way to respond would be compassion, because it will keep your emotional life fulfilled instead of repressed -- but that's a skill I have a long way to go with... It's hard not to just be angry!
What may help you is realizing that people who emotionally blackmail you are doing so out of a dysfunction on their part. That allows you to detach yourself without killing your emotions.
As far as recognizing emotional blackmail, the easiest way is to really pay attention to how you feel around people. There are people who you feel totally comfortable around. Then there are people who make you feel guilty, feel responsible, feel like a waste of a human being.
Spend as little time around these people as possible, and after being with them, do something to counteract their effect on you -- hang out with someone who loves you and makes you feel cool, go do something you enjoy (dancing, see a funny movie, go and get your favorite dessert).
When you are with them, remind yourself that you are not the problem -- they are. Feel sorry for them for having no other way to cope with their problems than to project them onto you. It may help to remember points in your life where you did the same thing to another person; that will help you empathize instead of getting angry.
Some people who emotionally blackmail are that way because they're in a particularly rough time in their life and don't know how to cope. It's not your job to teach them; they have to figure it out for themselves. Others are just piss-ants, and you can't lead them to a revelation about how to become a spiritually stronger person who doesn't feed off of negative energy.
Does that apply to your situation at all?
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