Quote:
Originally Posted by Shamou  There is an old Native American proverb that goes something like this, "You should walk a mile in a man's moccasins before you judge him." |
Hear, hear! That way, when you
do make your judgment, he's a mile away -- and barefoot.
The best advice I've heard is that anger is not a primary emotion, but a secondary one that comes up as a defense. Yoda said "fear leads to anger" and all the way to suffering-- but suffering and pain can cause anger, too. So, when angry, it's interesting to ask (as a 3rd and 4th question
) -- what are you scared of? Why was that nerve so raw in the first place? Usually (by my experience) it has less to do with the offending person and is really more like your heart was a sloshing sea of gasoline and that offense was the lit match. Sometimes, it's everything to do with frustrating offending-person relations -- and once you stop expecting a different outcome from doing the same thing over and over, the habit can fade away too and you can distance yourself? I hope this helped.