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machine · 06-09-2007, 05:51 AM

From my personal experience of being in the same position a few times this is what I would do:

I would cut it all off. This will force the issue to the forefront and get resolution. She is having her cake and eat it too.... holding you at arms length (keeping you as a safety net) while going out to test the waters and seeing someone else.

You have now put yourself in the same position that she was in when you were undecided. How long are you going to wait around for?

I too have held on too long and in hindsight I've learned that if someone is on the fence about wanting to be with me just sever the contact and see what happens.

I would always choose to force the issue and move on with however it lays out. I prefer that over hanging on and going through all that termoil while she keeps me hanging on as second fiddle. Every time I desperately hung on it only caused me more pain and prolonged the pain. It also made it less likely for me to get what I wanted (the girl) because it gave her the opportunity to go out and see other people while she had a fall-back guy (me) waiting for her. And as everyone knows, the beginning of relationships are always (usually) the best, so that's what you are competing against. New vs. Old Hat (you).

As far as fighting for her. I would fight for a woman I loved, but I realized in this kind of situation the person you would be fighting is her. Is that a show of love?

Give her space to decide. But give her space without you there. And tell her you are moving on because you don't want to just 'hang on' while she makes up her mind. I know in a way this sounds counter-intuitive to your desire of getting her back, but it will force her to think about living life without you in it. (That situation got you to look at your own behavior and got you to see in her what you couldn't see before you broke up)

She's either going to come back or leave. Either way you can start moving on rather than living in painful limbo state you find yourself in now.

Remember, this is just my opinion and not a solution if you want a guarantee to get her back.

machine

06-09-2007, 05:51 AM	#9 (permalink)
machine Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 36	From my personal experience of being in the same position a few times this is what I would do: I would cut it all off. This will force the issue to the forefront and get resolution. She is having her cake and eat it too.... holding you at arms length (keeping you as a safety net) while going out to test the waters and seeing someone else. You have now put yourself in the same position that she was in when you were undecided. How long are you going to wait around for? I too have held on too long and in hindsight I've learned that if someone is on the fence about wanting to be with me just sever the contact and see what happens. I would always choose to force the issue and move on with however it lays out. I prefer that over hanging on and going through all that termoil while she keeps me hanging on as second fiddle. Every time I desperately hung on it only caused me more pain and prolonged the pain. It also made it less likely for me to get what I wanted (the girl) because it gave her the opportunity to go out and see other people while she had a fall-back guy (me) waiting for her. And as everyone knows, the beginning of relationships are always (usually) the best, so that's what you are competing against. New vs. Old Hat (you). As far as fighting for her. I would fight for a woman I loved, but I realized in this kind of situation the person you would be fighting is her. Is that a show of love? Give her space to decide. But give her space without you there. And tell her you are moving on because you don't want to just 'hang on' while she makes up her mind. I know in a way this sounds counter-intuitive to your desire of getting her back, but it will force her to think about living life without you in it. (That situation got you to look at your own behavior and got you to see in her what you couldn't see before you broke up) She's either going to come back or leave. Either way you can start moving on rather than living in painful limbo state you find yourself in now. Remember, this is just my opinion and not a solution if you want a guarantee to get her back. machine __________________ When you find yourself falling.....DIVE! http://my-improvement.com/blog Last edited by machine; 06-09-2007 at 05:58 AM.