You're conflicted about your "shallowness."
I'm female, young, and live in NYC. I have no problems being "shallow." I embrace it. I accept that, in the real world, people (especially women) are judged by looks. Therefore, I invest a lot of time, energy and money into my looks. I enjoy it - I see it as pampering myself.
If having better skin makes you feel more confident, then focus on getting rid of acne. Self-acceptance is all nice and good, but that's only half the battle. Your outer skin is your "brand", and it deserves as much attention as your inner self.
Go to a dermatologist. A round of Accutane
(pills you take for a short period of time) often works miracles.
In the meantime, try this regimen: the trick is to combine manual exfoliation, chemical exfoliation, and disinfection. Basic Cleansing/Exfoliation
(twice a day)
- Start off by using this Shu Uemura cleansing oil
on a dry face. It will break down the sebum on your face. It emulsifies in water. Rinse off.
- Use a gentle, non-drying face wash. A good one might be that Neutrogena Gentle face Wash (in the blue bottle). I put some on those exfoliating gloves
, and gently buff my face. Make sure to rinse very well. Treatment
- I love those Stridex Maximum Daily Care
face pads (2% Salicylic Acid). They are alcohol free, and will not only help prevent new pimples, but help fade the scars. I use this everytime I wash my face (twice a day)
- I also like to use Nature's Cure 5% benzoyl peroxide
(this kills the bacteria in your pores). It comes with these homeopathic pills - I throw the pills away. I put a good layer on at night, because it doesn't mix well with sunshine.
In about a month, you should see at least some improvement in your skin. However, nothing beats Accutane for severe acne.
Once your acne is gone, it will take some time for the scars to fade. I suggest using a concealor (I believe Maybelline makes one that has 2% salicylic acid), and sort of "coloring" the scars away. It won't be 100%, but it will help reduce their appearance.
You can go to Make-Up Alley
and look up reviews for cosmetics, skincare and haircare.