The one thing I've learned from depression is that the cure can't be found in a pill, a therapist, or a message board. I don't think there's anything I could tell you that would change your mindset, but I'll say that once I accepted that I'm depressed (and probably will be for some time), it became easier to go through the motions of life. Instead of thinking "woe is me," I think "this sucks, but it is what it is." So I wake up in the morning (usually on the count of nightmares), make a sad cup of tea, give myself 5 minutes to dread another day of disappointment, and then lead a pretty normal life, just kind of waiting around for the rare moments of happiness. And I think that WAS the first step for me. Acknowledging that I'm not going to get better overnight, so I can either take a chance and play my shitty hand, or fold. And everyone knows you can't win if you fold.
It is what it is, man. |