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Originally Posted by lightthecandle  Firstly, I do accept myself. However, it is difficult for me to talk to people and hold a conversation with people, because I don’t feel pretty enough and feel they think I’m not pretty. I feel like I can be really funny and cute if I wasn’t so shy. And people tell me I have a great personality, well the ones that I am already somewhat good friends with already. I guess what I’m asking is how can I stop being soooooo shy? I’m 20 years old now, and I’d really like to break out of this shell that I’ve created. The thing is I have acne, and acne scars which are very very noticeable. I KNOW that if I was prettier that I would have been really popular and had more confidence. I know that’s shallow of me, but since I am not very pretty…how can I talk to people and get to know them and let them know me? |
By talking to them. Seriously. This is one of those areas where thinking just leads to an "analysis paralysis" loop - you need to activate "do mode" and actually just walk up to someone and say "hi". The only way they'll get to know you is if you hang around together for a bit.
Also, as someone else suggested, shyness is about self-consciousness - if you focus on the other person instead of yourself then you shouldn't be shy and conversation will come naturally.
I strongly recommend Toastmasters, too. It's a great way to build confidence talking in a supportive atmosphere.
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Originally Posted by lightthecandle Also, can you be well liked if you’re unattractive??? |
Absolutely. Attractiveness certainly contributes to a good
initial impression, but as people get to know each other the interesting person becomes increasingly attractive and the 'beautiful bore' becomes increasingly unattractive.
P.S. You seem to have a strong belief that you need to be attractive before you can talk to someone. This is (a) a limiting belief and (b) completely wrong.
P.P.S. Noone needs to throw a rock in your eye. Don't be so hard on yourself. Habits are hard things to break - that's what makes them habits.