padme, I'm so sorry that you are in this situation. My heart goes out to you and I hope you find some encouraging words here.
All those things you have experienced...the bad childhood, the messed up family, the taunting, the friend-less times, your issues...forget all that. It's hard, but put it out of your mind for a bit.
It's not about anyone else, but you.
Your friends that hurt your feelings - resolve to not get upset over their actions and remove them from memories you will feed negativity off of. If your friends are making fun of you, then they aren't your friends. If they are actively hurting you, then don't let them in your life. These people are not helping you, they are pulling you down. If your coworkers continue to act rudely to you, give them a smile. It might be difficult, but do it and see how you feel afterwards. People who go out of their way to hurt people won't leave you alone, because they feed off of your reaction to it. Better than not giving them a reaction, respond in kindness.
Your degree is something to be proud of. You spent 4 years in a college and got a diploma certifying your education and effort. You did something to graduate.
Whatever the past is, accept it. It happened - the good, the bad, and the ugly. The books are closed. There is nothing you can do about it. But it seems that you are picking up the same book and rereading it. It is done, it is closed, leave it where it should be.
You feel so depressed because you are accepting what people are telling you. Listen only to yourself. You are the only one that counts (not in the sense that you should disrespect other people, of course). You've not only shut out people in your life, but your self! No wonder you're depressed. If people think you're shy, so what? Perception is subjective and perception can be incorrect. If they think what they are saying is the truth, does that mean they are right?
I find that the best way to get motivated is to find a worthwhile goal or ideal. You say you don't have goals, but think in an ideal world. Go back to the mentality of a child where the dismal conditions didn't exist and you lived in the world of fantasy. Try it out. What is your ideal? Find an ideal which sparks a fire in your heart. Do you want to achieve self-actualization? Do you want to do something positive in your community? Do you want to learn?
Again, focus on yourself. The only person you should be most concerned about is yourself. Work on yourself and look towards the future.
Wish you all the best.
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