Cyanide?! Even if the urge for suicide has waned, the fact that you had a thought out plan for suicide and were considering acting on it is a very serious statement. I would strongly urge you to consider seeking professional help and perhaps anti-depressants. I know there a lot of people on this forum that offer a lot of helpful advice, but personally I think your situation is something that can't be resolved within the scope of a forum.
I think that a severe change in behavior after a break up is cause for concern. I don't think it is really about whether it is ok or not for you to be with an escort, but rather your comparison of people using drugs, and alcohol to the thrill you get of being with this escort. It sounds like it could be possibly turning into an addictive behavior for you. |