Hello Falkor and others who answered this thread,
It's my first message here (maybe I'll take time to present myself later), and I couldn't help but to post some insights I'm getting reading this.
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Originally Posted by Falkor  So is this the karma you talked about? And what does one do about their bad karma? |
I think there are profound misconceptions about what "karma" is. Misconceptions about what the Hindus are really talking about in their scriptures, and misconceptions of what we can do with/about this.
With Alan Watts, a great philosopher who died in 1973, I would say that karma is
your own doing. When you attach to it the idea of fate, or consequences, or cause/effect... it is not
per se a false assumption, but you're missing the main point : that karma is your own doing in the eternal now, nothing more, nothing less. So, talking about "good" or "bad" karma doesn't make a lot of sense, your karma is your karma, it's what you are doing right now! So, when you say something like this :
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Originally Posted by Falkor But I have created a life of hell for myself, at every moment in a day I am reminded of what I have missed, what I will never have, and of what a bad person I am. |
This is your karma. You're absolutely right. But it is your karma in the sense that you're actually doing it, right now. And in a sense, it has little to do with all your problems and your difficulties in life ; all this is an alibi. You have just forgotten who you truly are and what powerful resources lie within yourself. In fact, it takes a truly powerful being to create such a life of misery and solitude, and I know what I'm talking about, I've done that to myself too. Think that you could use all this power to create a life of joy and abundance. Power is power, it doesn't discriminate. But you, as a powerful being, can choose your path, and learn to fully embrace your karma, without fear and guilt.
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Originally Posted by Falkor I don't have any friends either, with feeling like this, who would want to know me anyway. The people I encounter I put on an act for, so being around people is exhausting...to keep up the act, to hide my secrets.. |
That's a mistake, a false assumption. Well, it's true in the measure you make it to be true. But believe me, there are people out there, people who want to devote their life to helping others discover within themselves their own power and their truth. But if you keep putting an act, these people are not all psychics who can read your mind (wouldn't that be great?
), so they may not even notice your cry for help. Of course, you don't have to wander around telling everyone your secrets and difficulties, but by beginning to accept what is happening to you, you could also begin to act sincerely towards others. If you're sad, depressed, just be it. There's nothing you can do against that, accept the sadness, the anger, the guilt, whatever. At this point, when you stop fooling yourself (because that's what you're doing in the first place, lying to others, you're lying to yourself, hiding from yourself), then you can begin to think much clearer, and maybe see that around you, there's a lot more support than you used to imagine.
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Originally Posted by Falkor I am so sorry for all the things I did in my past. I have tried to move on, to start a new life. But I don't find much has changed, and I don't see a future at all. |
You don't see any future because there is no future for any of us!
All there is is now, this present moment. Trust yourself, trust your senses, breath deeply, and see that you can't do anything about the past (which doesn't exist anymore), nor you can't do anything about the future (which hasn't come yet, anyway), all you can do something about is the present, your present ; this is karma, always. And there, you can decide how you want to feel about the past and the future, but this always take place in the present, because it's all there is.
Finally, I don't know if the fate of the baby is an issue for you. But this particular problem reminds me of an important question that Alan Watts, mentioned above, underlined. One of the important question we all have, is this one :
Are we going to make it ? And part of the fun of life, of this great adventure, it is that sometimes, we are convinced that we can really die, disappear, that all this could stop completely dead. But no. Truly, profoundly, we know, and you know, that anyway we are going to make it. So, for the baby I have no concerns, he is alright. And you will be alright too.
Twelve years of this ? It seems a long time, but what it is compared to eternity ? A sneeze!
One day you'll remember these terrible years you had, and you'll remember them as a terrible sneeze, you know those which give you a terrible headache and the impression that your eyes are going to get out of your head ? Hahaha!
Well, you know that everything's going to be allright after all. Although you may not see it right now, this is how things are.
And something tells me that I'm maybe too late with this message anyway, because you already knew all this, didn't you?
Your suscription to this forum is a good sign.
Open your eyes and your heart, everything is right there, waiting for you. You are not alone.