Quote:
Originally Posted by AdoptedOne  Now you have brought this up about the "new state" of mind one time a man pointed out I was quiet (this was in a bar) okay this isn't anything new and he said about me being psychic. What do you think he meant by this?  Do you think he may of been hinting about me being involved in Spirituality?
My mind feels numb like I have said in an emotional sense I remember I had thoughts all the time whether I wanted to or not I find it disturbing that my thoughts (when I force myself to think about things) don't leave any real affect on me like I have said previously I can't feel normal emotions, the normal range of emotions I once could feel I don't experience anymore. The question is why?
A lack of soul describes it well when I listen to music it barely effects me, it doesn't uplift my spirits, seeing a hot woman doesn't produce any "attraction" or "fireworks" feelings inside me either, I can't even feel anything at a family member's funeral. Yet if you saw me I probably appear fine, smiling etc however I know how to react to situations but like I said there is no feeling there.
Thanks everyone for your advice, I really don't know what to do anymore. Perhaps my mind evolved and as a result I have lost my ability to feel things. |
I think that this numb emotionless state you are experiencing is the result of accidental self programming. I think your meditation practice, whatever it consisted of, resulted in more than just
detachment from the miasma of illusion, which, in my opinion, is the
greatest benefit of meditation.
From my perspective, the goal of meditation is to
open oneself to be a more receptive channel for the life force of the universe. Initially, this
does involve detachment from our
regular patterns of thought and behavior, but this detachment is really just the separation from distortions in consciousness, and when we detach ourselves from these distortions, we conversely become
more attached to the
real world (the reality devoid of distortions). In effect, we become
more connected to the oneness of life. In other-words, you gain a greater capacity to appreciate a higher intensity of
life-energy.
I bring this up because my experience has been that detachment is not the goal of meditation but rather the
means to a more genuine connection. And it is also my experience that when you
actually do release distortions in consciousness you feel
more life force flowing through you, not less. And I must say that the feeling of LIFE flowing through you is *NOT* (cannot stress this enough) a cold, sterile, thoughtless, emotionless state of existence. In fact, it is QUITE the opposite. You feel
passion, enthusiasm, you literally
bask in the sublime experience of ALL things, and you see the goodness and deliciousness and appropriateness of all things you encounter. You don't exist in a neutral state that is neither good or bad, but rather, you recognize that "negativity" is simply resistance to what is. The
default state of things is
pure, positive energy. The realization of non-duality is rooted in the understanding that the darkness was a lie. There is no opposite to existence, just resistance to the flow of awareness or allowance of the flow of consciousness. One results in the illusion of disconnection, and the other results in the unimpeded flow of life energy.
You feel creative energy flowing through you when you open your consciousness to this. It feels almost sexual in nature (sexual pleasure itself being a lower level reflection of the state of being we all continually exist in but is hidden from our conscious minds by our egoic concerns). It is libidinous energy -- sometimes called the kundalini. The removal of illusions/knots in energy result in the unimpeded flow such energy.
I'm not sure how to help you except to echo the words of Joseph Campbell and say "follow your bliss". Find the closest thing to passion to you in this moment and keep looking for it and encouraging it. Eventually, you will train yourself out of this pattern of numbness you are presently experiencing.