[Natsu]

What I am going to give is my opinion. It may be wrong.

I think polarization is wrong. You can enjoy your development and other people's as well. You can love someone, and give to that person, and enjoy what that person gives you. I don't see the reason why you should only enjoy what you get from other people. Giving is a form of joy, getting is a form of joy, and deciding to be a darkworker so you'll only be "getting" is pretty limiting, for your development and your happiness.

You can work for yourself and love others, yes. You can't love others without the joy of giving. It's as nice to prepare a good meal thinking of how much your partner will enjoy it; as being surpised by your partner with a good meal that you can enjoy. Why should you deprive yourself of one of those joys? Of course, when choosing friends and partners, you should choose people who also like giving. But when you find such a person, someone who gives and receives with equal pleasure, you are one step next to happiness.

So, if I were you, I wouldn't polarize. You say you are a darkworker. I suppose that means you want to develop yourself and your life. If you, as a darkworker are doing harm, in the end it will hurt you. If you are producing something useful, why shouldn't you be glad that what you're doing is useful? It won't be an obstacle for you to enjoy the fact that what you're doing helps you, and pays your bills.

So, my suggestion would be: do not polarize. Love requires two givers without doormat ambitions. And if you choose NOT to give, love is something you won't have. And I wouldn't trust friends who don't give either.