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Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}  So I think I went back a few steps...is there a -5 step in that process?
I know you told me this would happen, Z. I knew it just as well, but I really am not ready to let go. I wanted him to call me, I wanted him to come over and I wanted to fall asleep in his arms. Even though I know that we should not be together and even though I want us to be friends.
I am just feeling lost now. I can't I don't even know what I want to say right now, but I felt it best to spill it. I am here to learn something and work through this stuff. Give me your best shot. I feel like maybe I am a lost cause...I was reading a book called Help I'm in Love With a Narcissist when he called and I was crying and I still let him come over! |
You know what Aspiring, maybe you need to see this through to its logical end. If you really want to be with him, don't fight it. You're obviously not ready to let go and that's okay.
I have to tell you about a friend of mine and what it took to for her to find "closure". She kept getting back with this guy (a narcissist) even though he ripped her off for several thousand dollars, cheated on her, disrespected her and all around treated her shabbily. She said she couldn't help herself and kept getting back with him because she "loved" him.
After going back to him at least 3 more times, the last time he again ripped her off for $5,000. He "borrowed" it but refused to pay her back. She also found out he was cheating on her with 2 other women.
Finally she gave him the boot and you know what he told her? He said "I know I can have you back any time I want".
What an insult!
Hopefully this final time cured her, but it took her that many times to "get it".
The moral of the story is that we want to believe in the best in people and give them the benefit of the doubt, but at the same time we can't allow ourselves to be doormats.