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Originally Posted by Further  Hi AdoptedOne. I am writing to collaborate your experience. I too have felt a detached, dissociated feeling that has been triggered directly by meditation practices and attempting to be in the "now." I have been through this scenario several times now. The first time was when began practicing TM (through certified teachers) - the repeating of a mantra to guide oneself into a "trance" state. After a few days of twice daily meditations, I felt very spaced out and dissociated from my surroundings; clumsy and "robot" like. I was able to shake the state about 1 week after suspending meditation and working out regularly.
The second time happened when I purchased some hypnosis mp3s; which put me in a similar state. I felt a wonderful freedom at first; but then a familiar fog and detachment an hour or so after completing the tape.
Most recently this happened to me while listening to "A New Earth." It is a beautiful text, and I really love the ideas Tolle sets forth. One of the lines about recognizing the pain body, and realizing that the ego *enjoys* the pain really resonated with me. I immediately was able to quiet my inner chatter; I no longer wanted to hurt myself with egoic thoughts. I felt an immediate release; then unfortunately slipped into the familiar fog.
Part of me is thinking..."this too shall pass." A wonderful parable. But I cannot afford to be "spaced out" for extended periods. I, like others, am looking for increased clarity and less mental "static" - but unfortunately seem to be tipping the scale in the wrong direction into a mindless fog.
The trouble is that I see so much good come from these practices...It makes sense to quiet self defeating mental chatter; and meditation seems like a logical step - to slow down, breath, and not to identify or be owned so strongly by fleeting thoughts and emotions.
I will try some of the suggestions for grounding meditation; and hopefully one day will find a meditation practice the works for me.
I would love to hear continued thoughts from other members; perhaps those who have cleared this hurdle/challenge and reached a better place?
Hang in there AdoptedOne - I agree with the others that this is likely a temporary setback. Stop meditating, exercise vigorously, and talk to a doctor if the suicidal thoughts keep coming.
Thank you for raising your voice about this; and thanks to this amazing community for your help. |
Hi there it is good to know I am not the only one going through this. I do wonder though If I will be in this state permanently. I have been like this already for almost a year. I haven't done any sort of meditation since nearly a year ago. It feels like I have gone through somesort of change in my mind and I don't think I can go back to how I was. It's just strange how I can go all day even working with a blank mind, both emotionally and in terms of thoughts and thinking even when I have thoughts they seem detached from me like they lack substance. My thoughts no longer seem to have any hold on me whether good or bad anymore. I never seem to daydream anymore or think deeply. Any emotion I feel now is short lived and to be honest I have to fake most of my reactions and emotional responses because I am nearly always emotionally numb inside.
Some other things I have noticed is a lot of self consciousness is gone, I am not phazed by others or their reactions as much if at all. My state is mostly solid and it doesn't get affected by others in a way I feel fearless because I am constantly emotionally numb inside. It's really weird too that I often get repsect from people and women checking me out even if I look like crap and not dressed very smart why? Well my thoughts are because I am so clear and blank in my mind I perhaps appear confident or don't give off negative vibes. Having said that I think I am slightly socially inept in a way, basic conversation can be hard it's difficult to connect with others when I feel numb and nothing really comes to mind to say or talk about with people. Conversations seem a lot more strained than before even with my immediate family.
This this is a very strange state to be in and it's difficult to explain unless you are experiencing it.