Generally there's two schools of thought when it comes to social skills. Some will tell you it's easy, others will tell you it's hard. Whether it's hard or not depends on what you're looking for.
Real skills are difficult, and take years of meticulous, assiduous effort. (look up assiduous) For an example of real social skills, look at Bill Clinton. The man is effortless, smooth, and very, very charming. These skills do not come from nowhere.
If you're looking for real skills, buy the three Robert Greene books that are relevant, The Art of Seduction, The 48 Laws of Power, and The 50th Law. He gives detailed breakdowns, and you'll be constantly referring back to them as you climb social ladders.
It's much, much easier to accomplish an objective than it is to build skills. You do not need to build an aqueduct to get clean water. You just turn on the tap. Similarly, it's far easier to find a girlfriend than it is to gain social skills. You just keep asking girls out until one says yes. You'll learn as you go.
What you're referring to, charisma, being a lamp others want to be around, is building skills. All social skills can be gained from reading Greene's work, and they're the fastest way to acquire them, short of constantly putting yourself in "do-or-die" situations.
Search your motives. Are you looking for fulfillment in a certain area, or is the lure of having good skills too much to resist? Personally, I own the three books above, and I'm never far from them.
If you're wondering, "Vince, you dunce, I just want to be more social, not be Bill Clinton!" then you're not appreciating the difficulty of keeping and maintaining the attention of others. The same amount of effort will get you much farther if you apply it towards the goal of real, true social skills, than it will if you apply it to the goal of, "have lots of friends."
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