Originally Posted by interchangeable
Who generated this list of *most charismatic people of all time* of which you speak?
IMO, JFK was one of the most charismatic of all time. Hardly a psychopath. Same with Jackie O and even JFK jr. Not psychopaths, I'm pretty sure.
I think plenty of people would classify Angelina Jolie as charismatic. I suppose it's possible she's a pyschopath but for her rainbow family's sake, I hope not.
Muhammed Ali? Charismatic. Hell, Conan O'Brien is charismatic. He seems like the farthest thing from a psychopath you can get.
I could go on. And one person's charismatic is another person's supercreep. Some of Charles Manson's followers said he was charismatic but I quite clearly see psychopath. Same with David Karesh and Jim Jones, both who were described at length as being charismatic.
So I'd have to say that I heartily dissagree with your subjective assertion that "the most charismatic people of all time were psychopaths".
A psychopath is not necessarily an axe wielding murder.
It's estimated 2-3% of the world population is psychopathic. You've probably met one in your life and never realized it.
Psychopaths are simply people who have no understanding of emotions, but can fake them. Psychopaths blend into normal everyday people and usually take high positions in companies.
They are narcissistic and have "high powered traits" such as aggressiveness, pushiness, and charm.
Now let's keep this straight. TO be charming, you don't have to be psychopathic. But psychopaths are very good at charm. It's sort of this one way street. When I studied charm, more often than not, psychopaths were mentioned. Even your basic "How to be charming" books mentioned psychopaths. There's really no way around it.
Why? Because they able to make people do some of the most extreme things they wanted. I'll admit, I love conan o brien! and he's such a lovable character. But there is no way in hell he could ever make me kill a pregnant woman in her home and write bloody letters on the wall.
Now I've met psychopathic people (It's not obvious, it took some time to realize but you find out that they lie easy and constantly so you realize what they are). Now honestly, the girl I met COULD HAVE made me do some pretty extreme things. But I've had experience with psychopathic people before so I'm on guard. But she had people giving her money, acting as her entourage, and getting into fights for her pleasure. She had these eyes you could get lost in. She was somewhat physically attractive but not exceptionally. She was smart because she would tell sob stories about her life. How she was mistreated and abused. You'd feel sorry for her and you'd want to be a knight in shinning armor for her. And then she would proceed to tell you that you look like that knight. And then she would advance sexually and give you what you want. This recipe could make men do anything for her.
I was so close to being her slave. She just felt so special and she said everything you wanted to hear. But I stayed away from her in clubs mostly because I was on to her. Every night at this one club/bar there would ALWAYS be like 2 guys fighting because of her. I stopped going to that club after a while.
JFK, conan o brain, Jackie O... they are charming to a degree. Psychopaths take charm to most extreme. They make people kill for them. They make people loyal and dependent on them. They charm people and make them their loyal subjects.
The reason I mention psychopath is because the OP wants to learn charm. People who are naturally charming didn't intend for it nor built it on purpose. It was natural. As I mentioned, a basic premise for wanting charm is to control people. If you want charm, then you have to learn it. Psychopaths "learn" charm.
It's like... if you wanted to get good grades in school, you could ask the natural who doesn't study and memorizes everything. OR you could ask the guy who used to fail all the time, and gets A's now. I'd prefer to ask the previous fail guy for advice than the natural. I've asked naturals and the same cliche response "it's easy".
People who are naturals sometimes don't exactly know how they developed it. But people who mastered or purposefully learned charm though a handicap, are more efficient examples to learn from.