Quote:
Originally Posted by James81  Charisma happens when you trust yourself so fully that others can't help but be curious about how you do it.
It's not a thought or an action or a manipulation, it's a bold declaration: "This is who I am!" And who you are, who you were, and who you can be all meet in that instant in a bright flash of light that shines for miles into the darkness of others hearts and minds, boldly transforming it into light so that others can shine most brightly through abd with you. |
I really like this description.
I will also add that charisma arises naturally (and cannot be forced) as a result of:
-Not fearing others (through not fearing yourself)
-Liking others (through liking yourself)
-Being honest about who you are -- being yourself, so that others may be themselves too
-Feeling good within yourself -- most importantly, not trying to "get" anything from people. This arises from a state of internal fulfilment and a sense that things are okay how they are. "Everything in its right place".
So being charismatic mainly comes from your relationship with yourself. Your relations with others will simply be a reflection (projection) of this. Not fearing others and the consequences of being yourself is the most important. This basically comes from life experience -- experiences which show you that you have nothing to lose, and ultimately it is better to be yourself because there is nothing else you reliably can be.
I will also point out that any actions you "do" in order to "be charismatic" will simply come off as try-hard. It is an internal grounding and true relationship with yourself that causes the behavioural characteristics of what we call "charisma".
But you want it now, and don't have the insight to be comfortable truly being who you are around others. So you will have to get that insight, by trying, and thus by getting those experiences that will build character. Accept this probably won't be pretty when you first start out. Again, this is to do with getting over the fears you have -- the perceived consequences you might believe will happen as a result of being yourself. Explore those fears, and disqualify them one by one with real life evidence.