Thread: Charisma
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Old 11-22-2010, 02:54 AM   #17 (permalink)
James81
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Originally Posted by 180 View Post
I never said to be charismatic you have to be a psychopath. That is the most absurd thing and I never implied that.

What I am saying is that charisma and psychopathy are highly interrelated phenomenons.

I don't want to keep repeating myself but if you read my blurb, you should understand that psychopaths are some of the MOST charismatic. And in the case of confusion the defnition of a psychopath in clinical terms should be differeianted from the miscontrued version that people take away from hannibal lecter and other movies. A psychopath is not a wife wielding murder. A psychopath is a person whom lacks empathy and emotional content. Theories go that it has to do with how the brain is wired... I won't get into it but for those interested:

This is what real psychopathy is: Psychopathy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

"The prototypical psychopath has deficits or deviances in several areas: interpersonal relationships, emotion, and self-control. Psychopaths gain satisfaction through antisocial behavior, and do not experience shame, guilt, or remorse for their actions.[12][13][14] Psychopaths lack a sense of guilt or remorse for any harm they may have caused others, instead rationalizing the behavior, blaming someone else, or denying it outright.[15] Psychopaths also lack empathy towards others in general, resulting in tactlessness, insensitivity, and contemptuousness. All of this belies their tendency to make a good, likable first impression. Psychopaths have a superficial charm about them, enabled by a willingness to say anything without concern for accuracy or truth. Shallow affect also describes the psychopath's tendency for genuine emotion to be short lived and egocentric with an overall cold demeanor. Their behavior is impulsive and irresponsible, often failing to keep a job or defaulting on debts.[15] Psychopaths also have a markedly distorted sense of the potential consequences of their actions, not only for others, but also for themselves. They do not deeply recognize the risk of being caught, disbelieved or injured as a result of their behaviour.Researcher Robert Hare, whose Hare Psychopathy Checklist is widely used, describes psychopaths as "intraspecies predators".[17] Also R.I. Simon uses the word predator to describe psychopaths.[18] Elsewhere Hare and others write that psychopaths "use charisma, manipulation, intimidation, sexual intercourse and violence"[19][20][21][verification needed] to control others and to satisfy their own needs. Hare states that: "Lacking in conscience and empathy, they take what they want and do as they please, violating social norms and expectations without guilt or remorse".[22] He previously stated that: "What is missing, in other words, are the very qualities that allow a human being to live in social harmony".[23]
According to Hare, many psychopaths are superficially charming, and can excellently mimic normal human emotion;[9] some psychopaths can blend in, undetected, in a variety of surroundings, including corporate environments.
[24][16]"

As I've said, I've studied charisma A LOT. I've read books, done self studies on the most charming people and how they achieve them.

If you want to be charismatic, being able to lie is a huge advantage. Being able to understand people like a chess game rather than a "real" person allows you to analyze and dissect human behavior allowing them to manipulate them. Psychopaths can charm with incredible ease because they have these tools.

If you want to be charming without being "psychopathic" it's a hard route. It encompasses that you have feelings for the people you are charming. But Charm is manipulation. And trying to manipulate people you like, is difficult.

Are you a surgeon or know a surgeon? Ask a surgeon if he looks at a human insides and think of the human being as a human being. Or does he see a human as separate parts like a machine that go together. A surgeon views surgery as a job, and looks at people in their parts of a machine. He rarely wants to view the person as a human being with feelings, family, and a job. He will become emotional about the person and it will interfere with his job.

Same goes for charm. If your job or goal is to charm someone, but you have feelings and you are a "good" person, you will run into difficulty. In order to charm you have to analyze and see what makes a person tick. This is a hard job and requires a very .... scientific view of human beings. As chess pawns. Not as human beings.

I have the ability to charm certain people... but I find this ability stronger when I have the tendency to lie or do my psychological experiments on people. If I am honest and caring... then I DON'T want to charm or manipulate this person. Wanting to be charming basically is saying you want people to like you. You want to "control" others through likability.

A personal example, Last night I was at a club and two girls I've known for a while came up and talked to me. While I don't have any interest in them, I did want to see how they would react to certain cues. So instead of doing what I normally do, I set it up so that I looked like I was the life of the party. (which is a lie, I wanted to be sleeping at home) I talked to some random guy, pretended I was tipsy as an excuse, and said really loud "YEAH you're the man!". He shouts back "YOU da man!". The girls come over and start finding excuses to talk. This is a partial element of charm. See how I artificially changed the environment through a lie to be attractive?

What you'll find is some of the most "popular" and "attractive" people are the most fake. All of it is simply an act.
First of all, the first half of your post is *still* talking about psychopathy and, I repeat, it has no business in a thread about charisma. Just because psychopaths can wield charisma does not make the two go hand in hand or mean anything other than a trait that psychopaths tend to exhibit most is charisma.

And, yes, I believe that you've studied charisma. I believe that you study it through your own warped view of the world, and that you filter all your studies THROUGH that warped sense of reality. Again, I remind you, that countless people here on these forums have told you repeatedly that you must be living in a different world than them. In fact, one of the most charismatic people that posted here told you that (PlaysWithLife).

So, what you are saying, is that YOU use manipulation tactics and fake charisma to draw people to you. For what means, I have no idea. That doesn't mean that what you are using is charisma, though. It means that you are using elements of charisma to manipulate people. Which is, well, what a psychopath might do.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not calling YOU a psychopath by any means. I'm just saying that you're viewing it through a wonky lense and all your studies have done nothing but help you create the world as you want to see it.

I believe that if you were to entertain the notion of stepping outside that frame, for just an instant, and entertain that the world isn't the sick, dark, manipulative place you think it is, you might recognize that it's your own unconscious patterns that have lead you to this place and not any measure of the truth or "the way things are."
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