It sounds like you're trapped inside your mind still, not fully inhabiting the physical body. Grounding is a great idea. I think this is why it's a good idea to have a teacher when you get into this kind of thing. Not even necessarily one great guru, although that would be fantastic, but you know - seeking guidance outside of your own process can be a very good thing.
People who have been down this road before are probably already experienced with what you are experiencing.
I had this great big massive gigantic message from the universe today that indicated that enjoying the ride is the best option. Just relax. This is not a permanent state of being. Let go of whatever ideas you are still holding on to inside of your mind that define your state of being in a negative light. Understand that old habitually patterns of low self esteem and negative self talk are still being dismantled - clearly, if you are judging yourself and your process so strongly, there is some impurity that is burning out of you.
Be at peace. Go look at the full moon.
|