Originally Posted by spacecadetglow
Sounds to me like you're feeling, AdoptedOne. You're feeling that it's terrible to be this numb. You don't like it. That's a feeling, isn't it?
Much love to you.
Okay that's a fair point. What I mean is psychologically I don't feel right or empty like even though I know I don't like or enjoy this numb state I still don't feel the emotion of this thought or belief. It's hard to explain this sort of state of mind I am in. I think this is why I can still experience laughter because I intelictually I know when something is funny yet even when I am out socially I don't really feel anything when laughing with others. I believe in part this could be due to the fact I no longer have automatic thoughts like before which would typically kick in and make me feel certain emotions. This seems to of gone. This empty feeling persists no matter what I do or what happens in life. I have also noticed that intelictually I know when know something is bad (eg my Grandad dying or watching a sad scene in a movie) however I can't FEEL the sadness within myselif like I once could.
It is almost as though I have lost my soul.