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Omkazn · 05-29-2007, 08:15 AM

Hello forum, i wish to post a question/statement.

I was wondering if anyone in this forum has noticed a peculiar truth in our society and that is the traditional roles of women and men. I have noticed that many men including myself base our self-esteem on performance and being the breadwinner, successful, etc. And any mention of performance and or achievement can have a man on edge or feel as if his worth is on the line. This is different with women, women are expected to be very nurturing and loving and more emotionally expressive and suppose to be more fearful and anxious in general. The worst thing about these types of social conditioning is that people react and feel fear and or a lack of confidence not when their actual competence or behavior is in question but b/c of what they are expected to react to such questions or a need to defend themselves in order to fit what is expected of their gender. I've also noticed that the most successful and happiest people are those who seemingly have both "male" and "female" traits. I've noticed that i am a little fearful/intimidated by women who are successful and make lots of money and have successful careers and are still very womanly in behavior and appearance. And such women command lots of presence both within their own sex as well as the opposite sex. She appears to be both a champion of her fellow women and an equal to her male counterparts.

For men, its much rarer to see both "female" and "male" qualities. Most men are very success oriented and base much of their happiness and confidence in their ability to achieve and be important. This role and social conditioning is both confining and rigid, doesn't allow the flexibility and completeness necessary to fully experience life. For a brief period in my life, i would say i experienced this fusion of values and abilities. I was very warm and relational as well as emotionally intuitive, typically "feminine" qualities as well as rational, competitive, aggressive and sometimes stoic, more "male" qualities. I was able to fuse these two sort of roles and use them whenever i thought it was appropriate. But ever since my counselor left and my confidence has been shot, I've been having difficulty getting it back. I am curious as to whether other people have had similar experiences or have any idea what i am talking about.

05-29-2007, 08:15 AM	#20 (permalink)
Omkazn Junior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: San Jose Posts: 12	Hey Hello forum, i wish to post a question/statement. I was wondering if anyone in this forum has noticed a peculiar truth in our society and that is the traditional roles of women and men. I have noticed that many men including myself base our self-esteem on performance and being the breadwinner, successful, etc. And any mention of performance and or achievement can have a man on edge or feel as if his worth is on the line. This is different with women, women are expected to be very nurturing and loving and more emotionally expressive and suppose to be more fearful and anxious in general. The worst thing about these types of social conditioning is that people react and feel fear and or a lack of confidence not when their actual competence or behavior is in question but b/c of what they are expected to react to such questions or a need to defend themselves in order to fit what is expected of their gender. I've also noticed that the most successful and happiest people are those who seemingly have both "male" and "female" traits. I've noticed that i am a little fearful/intimidated by women who are successful and make lots of money and have successful careers and are still very womanly in behavior and appearance. And such women command lots of presence both within their own sex as well as the opposite sex. She appears to be both a champion of her fellow women and an equal to her male counterparts. For men, its much rarer to see both "female" and "male" qualities. Most men are very success oriented and base much of their happiness and confidence in their ability to achieve and be important. This role and social conditioning is both confining and rigid, doesn't allow the flexibility and completeness necessary to fully experience life. For a brief period in my life, i would say i experienced this fusion of values and abilities. I was very warm and relational as well as emotionally intuitive, typically "feminine" qualities as well as rational, competitive, aggressive and sometimes stoic, more "male" qualities. I was able to fuse these two sort of roles and use them whenever i thought it was appropriate. But ever since my counselor left and my confidence has been shot, I've been having difficulty getting it back. I am curious as to whether other people have had similar experiences or have any idea what i am talking about.