[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

I am having several dreams about him every night. During the day I do okay. I have been keeping busy, spending time with friends, working on the house.

Yesterday I moved the remainder of his stuff out of my house into my garage. He had told me several times he would do it, but never came through. Part of me wanted to just set it all out on the lawn for the neighbors to pick through, but it wouldn't have been me. I'm not that person. So I packed it all nicely in the garage. Now my house is ready for all the work I want to do on it. I transferred all my pictures from my old computer to my new laptop and am in the process of tagging everything and burning cds of pictures for my friends.

The main problem now is the dreams. They generally involve just a daily life kind of scenario where he ends up being mean to me, or walking by me with another girl or sleeping with me and then telling me off or ignoring me. I don't know how to stop having the dreams. I wake up feeling so low. Like I said, the days are easy enough to handle now...I can step back and view my thoughts as the watcher. I can repeat my mantra and calm myself. But the dreams are painful to wake up from. I end up wanting to call him or find some other excuse that I need to call his mom so I can ask her about him (I haven't done either yet - yeah). I just want the dreams to stop!

That's where I am today.

I haven't seen him in two weeks. I haven't talked to him since last Tuesday. My last attempt to contact him was last Wednesday (when he had said he would call me but didn't).