Thank you all for responding.
I will look deeper into some of the threads suggested. But I have to say that I think this subject is such a taboo that maybe no one wants to really see or address the pain I am in. Erin, I am happy to see you read my post. But it is far too simple to say to me I need to forgive myself and move on. After 12 years I can't seem to do it. I have not read yet the forgiveness thread you suggested, I will do that. But I have been through so much therapy and nothing worked. The past is done and I know I can't change it now. If there was anything I could do to heal this bad event I would do it, I just don't know what it is. Am I suffering the karma you talked about? I had never really thought of it this way until I read your article. Open to suggestions...
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