 Can anyone give me advice on poetry?
At school we've been doing alot of poetry for english, and Im happy with my poems, theres just somethings that bugs me, and I would like to improve on it, I want it sound like the poem flows together.
Im happy with the idea of this poem, but just, I know it can be better lol.
I was wondering if anyone could help me with it, and also Im new to this forum... so o.o, I dont if I can post this here can I? xD anyways thank you if anyone decides to help me. =]
Tonight I gazed into the night sky.
Covered by its starry blanket-
its vastness seemed to reach on forever-
It made me realize how limited I was...
I closed my eyes to recollect memories-
memories of you and I together
laughing and playing...caressing and kissing
and I thought to myself...
why cant these things last forever?
Why is it that I must be confined to earth-
bounded in by all its physicalities.
Its as if everything is born just to die in the end.
but there must be truely something
that can outlast the chains of time.
but oh this mortality, why do you haunt me?
why must you follow me everywhere I go?
even in the smallest corners you stow
only to remind me that death is not far...
...The wind sweeps over me like a wave,
and the image of your sweet face came to me.
and I realized that it was our love
that would outlast Eternity.
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