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Originally Posted by LostMyMap  Elias, good post. If I can trust the honesty of this post, sounds like you have progressed quite a bit. As you may have seen, some of us got pretty lit up about your situation and soporno's 'advice'. I for one have pretty strong feelings in regards to being a father and caring for children. I hope things continue to be on the upswing for both you and your children. |
I'm flattered that you question the honesty of a post I consider very accurate!
I'm not sure what you mean by the quotes around 'advice', since I consider his advice quite fitting for me. I came to him with a lot of 'should's and he offered me several practical and reasonable solutions in return. The au pair and the 5/9 split ideas both stem from his email.
More importantly, and also the reason why I think the "upswing" will last, is that he comes from the frame of finding a solution that works for _everyone_, very much including myself. I still don't see myself as 'cut out for' fatherhood, but I did find a solution that I'm quite pleased with and that seems to work great for the little ones. If I weren't happy, the changes wouldn't last long, and I'm sure my children would (keep) sensing my unhappyness.
Someone mentioned that I wrote specifically to Johnny to get the answer I wanted - well, of course! Although I've never met Johnny personally, I consider him very qualified to offer me advice that fits me well - in one of his videos he mentioned something along the lines of recognising his shortcomings wrt. raising children and his efficient solution to that. And he seems to ridiculously happy about his life, so why not ask?
And btw, he never absolves me of any responsibility for the wellbeing of my children ("This doesn't, of itself, make you a douchebag! But failing to find a positive solution does!").
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Originally Posted by LostMyMap For what it's worth, this forum has a lot of really good people on it and I've learned quite a bit since I showed up here. If you are interested, you could hang around here and 'talk' and ask questions. If you throw something out there, you definitely will get some analysis and opinions back and that can be rather daunting, but great learning. |
I know!
) Although absent for a while, I was a long time lurker at the time I wrote the original post, and I did learn quite a lot at the time. And I have no problem with fiery discussions and harsh criticism - I knew perfectly well the post would be controversial when I posted it.