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Originally Posted by Johnny Soporno  Furthermore, getting a doctor to perform a vasectomy on a healthy man who has never had kids is INCREDIBLY CHALLENGING. (Most US doctors won't do it for risk of post-facto litigation in the event the man decides he wants kids later. In Canada, it is next to impossible to get a prescription [necessary with state-run medicine] to have a vasectomy if you haven't had children already. Doctors will simply refuse.) |
I've heard that before, and I always wonder if the people who say that live in the same world as I do. I know over two dozen people, both men and women, who have gotten permanently sterilized while childfree and under the age of 30 (in the US, in Canada and in other Western countries). And it's not like I actively go looking for examples. It seems like people who are adamant about not having children and take full responsibility for it very early on get what they want.
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Originally Posted by Johnny Soporno If Elias had even suggested using condoms with her, I would imagine she would have freaked right out. Most women who take BC pills do so because they don't enjoy condoms, but don't want to become pregnant. If a man whom they trust to be disease-free volunteers to use a condom, they will generally assure him that he needn't. |
I'm not sure that most women switch to hormonal BC for pleasure reasons, and in any case that's irrelevant to one man's particular situation.
I, for one, would respect any partner of mine who explained sensibly that regardless of whether I am on birth control or not, he wants to take responsibility too and will take action to ensure a pregnancy does not occur if unwanted (whether he decides to use condoms, withdrawal - which is statistically as effective as condoms when used by stable couples - or to bring me my pill every single morning with breakfast in bed). I may not be 100% happy with his decision, it may not lead to my first choice of sexual practices, it may be something I want to negociate and I can even think of cases where it would lead us to split up, but I would respect him for it. In any case, one cannot know if his wife would simply not want to use condoms unless he asks.