[Stellate]

Thanks Angela and Michelle.

I have read The Gift of Fear (I do volunteer work in the DV community...) and honestly this is what bugs me so bad about it. All along I have been trying to "justify" his behavior and excuses to myself. And, ultimately, I just can't.

There is so much pressure from his family for us to stay together because I am such a catch. It's like they just want him to stay with me because they can finally see that he's "getting his life on track"... but, really, I know that I do deserve better...

What I can't figure out is what's wrong with me. WHY am I putting up with this crap? I am strong, intelligent, self-sufficient...

When I broke things off before he gave me the, "you can't just quit! we've gotta keep trying!" kind of reasoning for getting back together.

When we split up before my daughter was very sad at first. She does love him and I know that he loves her...

But, really, it's killing me to stay with him. I feel like every day that goes by - my soul is slowly shutting down. Does that make sense? I've never really felt that in a relationship before... I have told him all of this but he doesn't listen. He only wants what he wants... and that, to me, tells me that he must not really truly love me.