Hello all,
This is my first time posting so go easy on me!
Here's my situation:
-I'm a single mom with a child in kindergarten. I'm employed, financially stable, good relationship with exhusband (well, as good as can be) and have sole custody of my daughter.
-I "re-met" a guy I went to high school with about 1.5 years ago. I knew his brother well in high school but didn't know him well. We met, started dating, things got serious, we moved in together (many months after we met) and things seemed like they were going well until...
-I found out the income he told me he made was *nowhere* near what he really made (he said he made $100k, really made $35k annually). I don't care what he makes - I have plenty of my own money. I just would have liked him to be honest about it from the start. Finding that out meant that he wouldn't be in the position to purchase a house anytime soon. He's never been a homeowner but I've owned 3 homes and would like to buy again soon.
-I learned he had bad credit, no savings and lots of debt. Found that out when we went to rent a house together... Ugh.
-And... the final kicker... I was home one day from work early and got the mail (he usually gets it as he gets home before I do). There was a letter from the court there... I opened it...yes, I know I probably should have just given it to him but I was very curious...
He had gotten a DUI about 6 months prior to the time we met. He never told me about it. He was extremely angry that I opened "his" mail and was mad that I found out about his DUI. I was angry that he never told me and even angrier when he tried to brush me off and wouldn't tell me anything more about his court dates, etc. - This is a man that has been picking my child up from school every day!!
He has since apologized but still really hasn't been forthcoming with information about the DUI. I really haven't been able to trust him since that time. I've noticed he's been secretive about other things and I just can't accept that in a relationship.
So, we live together now. We broke up at the end of February and he left for a few days... then he begged to come back and I stupidly took him back. He promised to change and blah blah blah...
My child loves him and I did love him but I am no longer in love with him at all. I don't want to have sex with him, I can barely kiss him goodnight and I really don't even want to have to be around him.
But he won't leave. He knows I am desperately unhappy but it's like he's gotta just keep up appearances for his family's sake... since I'm such a good catch (I know I am).
I know I've rambled a bit but I just had to get this all out... I would love to hear your thoughts, advice, etc.
Bottom line - do you think what he's done is unforgivable? I just really needed him to be honest with me... I don't know that I can get past this - this guy isn't *everything* to me... but he claims that I am *everything* to him...
Thanks for your advice/comments/help...