Subject: Purina at Wal-Mart
I used to have a Great Dane & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog(?).
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital last time because I had been poisoned.
I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my nuts and a car hit me. I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
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