Thanks to all those brave souls who've worked with me through my recent breakup and talked me down when I've gone a little (okay a lot) crazy. This thread is just something I am starting for myself to post my progress in the process of recovering from this detour in my life. I would love for anyone who is so inclined to keep me accountable and offer words of wisdom. For anyone who likes soap opera type reading, here's the backstory: How can I do better? Dealing with the end of a relationship? Forgiveness Love Hurts! I want to master my emotions...not the other way around! My goals are Emotional Mastery, creating goals for the next phase of my life, acting on said goals, not moping around, not analyzing incessantly, eating more healthily, not calling "just to talk" or asking other people about him and taking active steps to improving myself for whatever comes next.
In that spirit. Here's what I did last night:
- Stopped by the store on the way home because I had no groceries at home. I've been eating out and getting a little pudgy.
- Cooked a healthy dinner.
- Washed all the dishes that had been piled up in my sink.
- Cleaned the sink.
- Packed up leftovers from healthy dinner to take to work for a healthy lunch.
- Put away all the clothes that I washed sometime last week that were piled in my room.
- Made a list of what household projects I want to get started on.
- Balanced my checkbook.
- Read one chapter of The Power of Now.
- Went to bed feeling pretty good about my evening.
Now, some of you may be saying, "Uh, most of that stuff is just the daily stuff of life. Big whoop, so you washed your dishes...I do that all the time." And to you I would say, "It's a big deal for me because the last two months I have been going home and watching tv with takeout (and going over and over the last conversation or meeting or lack of one we had) until I get so tired I crash." I would wash a dish when I ran out of clean ones, ditto clothes. So, I am calling it progress.
I did think about him last night. I did get a little sad. This morning I woke up from a dream about him. I won't go into the details, but it got me a little down. So I cried in the shower. Then, I shook it off and got ready for work. The dream had me questioning everything again. So I got myself a mantra: "The past cannot be changed; I may never have the answers or understand what happened. I love him. I want him to be happy. I want myself to be happy. I will focus on now." It's kind of a long clunky mantra, I know. If anyone has any suggestions, I'm open to change.
I'll try not to make every post this long. If anyone catches me whining or mulling in this thread or anywhere else, slap me twice across the face! Thanks for all your support!
Edit: PS I also cleaned out my pantry of a bunch of stuff I don't eat (ex boyfriend food). I packed a bag for him (the stuff I know he'll use) and one for a friend of mine who could use some help.