When I say depression I mean the myriad of symptoms that can accompany severe and long term depression, including some that Irisha describes.
I understand the channel, but I understand people will take your energy or pull from your aura, however, I have never heard of anyone controlling your hands, body, moods, thoughts etc that sounds like possession.
I think you gotta take your power back and stop scapegoating this bloke for everything that has happened in your life, seek help, forget him and move on.
I know it sounds cold but I genuinely think you are in a place where you have made your experience one of where you are putting your entire life in the hands of this man, or so you think, therefore absolving you of any responsibility.
Forget him, move on and make your life what you want. The power is in you and once again no one can do anything to you that you don't want doing.
I say this cause you are on here seeking advice after 18 years of this crap, I presume you wanna change your experience now.
Of course your experience and how you play it is entirely up to you and if this is your bag then thats cool.
Peace my friend and there is much love here for you, I will send you lots of green energy to you.