| | Magic Numbers
There is no such thing as magic numbers. Just desperate little girls wishing things were different.
I think the biggest shift that I am making is letting go of the magic numbers. My weight is not the be all and end all. Being thin won't magically make me happy. Losing weight may make me healthy, but not happy. Happiness is in the mind. I am grateful for that and for everyone who has helped me on my journey.
Now when I find myself thinking of magic numbers, if only I was thinner, I start to question what is I really want. Why do I want that dress to fit? What do I feel will change when I am thinner? People will like me, I will have friends and fit in. Magic numbers are the voice of a desperate and lonely little girl that lives inside of me, who is struggling to notice how much life has changed. I think the real changes are going to start happening when I let go of the limiting beliefs like "I have no friends" and "No one likes me." Its a delusion and despite the stark contrasts of reality I keep sabotaging things so I end up alone with my ED. I recognise it and therefore I can choose to change.