Originally Posted by Captainkirk1987
I want to share something personal to help give a little insight on this subject. Around April or May I started abusing substances because I was depressed, I was hurting since my mom past away. I was having dreams of her I was missing her daily. I started using dissociatives because I heard of the capabilities that they had to induce NDEs and OOBEs (Near Death Experiences And Out Of Body Experiences). I got even more depressed because I thought that no one was there, that no one was listening, I was missing my mom more and more, I saw everyone moving on around me and I was still stuck in this loop. So one day I loaded my body with grapefruit juice while saying tonights the night that I do it. I was intensionally planning on risking my own life to learn the truth, as depressed as I would I was sure god would understand but I was afraid of judgement to.
I took enough of a certain dissociative to put me into an anesthetic state, the grapefruit juice potentiated this substance and made the situation worse, I ended up blacking out, next thing I know I'm outside my body, everything was a brilliant white and I could see myself clearly. I heard someone say "Do you know whats happened?" and as the scene was unfolding everything was still white but blurry aswell... I felt myself descening back into my body and as I was descending I heard someone say "Lets put him back in his body, he doesn't want to be dead yet." After that I woke up breathing really fast. The point of the story is, I was terribly afraid of death at the time, I didn't want to die and I still don't, I was afraid of god not being there, not being able to see my mother again. I know this for one thing, I will see my mom again, I know there is something there. The static, the white light, the beautiful CEVs. I would not trade any of this because its opened my eyes even more. Death is the whole reason I got into meditation, death is the whole reason I started this whole ordeal. God does not judge for judgement wouldn't be fair, but god also wants people to learn from there mistakes, god wants people to love as he loves, eveyrone always has a second chance, everyone always has the opportunity to be reborn, doesn't that seem fair? Hell doesn't exist as it was made up by the church to scare members and keep them in line. Learn from your mistakes, you kill yourself the only ones your hurting are your family and your friends.