This is not the most organized or succinct post ever from me (probably need to get in the habit of short and sweet with as much as I'm doing these days
), but hopefully it is at least readable
I'm not going to focus on the nature of the situation so much as ideas that can help address it, hope that's okay.
royster, elucidate, Andrew - thank you
I appreciate that you all have a sense of my alignment around here! Happy to offer what I can on this, and hope it will help the OP or others who have dealt with something similar.
Irisha, I sense that bluestar really understands what you describe here. You may want to pay special attention to her ideas. bluestar, I hope I got your gender correct.
I think Anagogy raises some very valid points as well. It would probably help to reassert your personal will and your ideal experience of your reality by shifting your focus. That isn't the same thing as denial. It is acknowledging the experience and consciously choosing to harmonize/align with what you would prefer. That might mean, instead of a thought battle, you simply go for a walk and get some fresh air, then decide to skip, or pick a flower. Less thinking more doing. Especially if you feel like a thought battle would happen otherwise in that moment. Start to stretch beyond the patterns you've been using for this, get spontaneous and unpredictable and that could help also. And you may want to double check where you stand on this stuff as well, like if your distaste is mixed with fascination or interest or a neutral/positive related to any aspect of the experience.
You could also work with Rose Rosetree for cord-cutting. Anna Conlan offers it too. Helps if you have worked up to strong belief in the possibility of cutting a major cord associated with him. Thought is powerful, yours included, even all things considered.
I noticed when you were responding to this idea from Anagogy, the content of your response on the things he makes you do... you could start to shift that way of viewing it (even if, as I can see, you have evidence of the way you're used to this happening) so that you are imagining that anything you previously attributed to him is something that is now coming from your higher self, a projected but harmless aspect of yourself, or even the sentience of your pet poodle. Instead of assigning it to him, assign it to something that you feel stronger than in comparison. It may feel false at first but as you continue this you can retrain your mind and your energy patterns would also shift.
Feeling like someone or something else is in control of us is usually a scary thing even if it ends up a kind of 'new normal.' So it may help, first off, to let any feelings related to that come to the surface - to own them - as it's easier to raise our vibe when we're letting that stuff come up. Same goes for any desperation you have felt about resolving this, or fear that you must simply deal with it the rest of your life. Accept and love the feelings and yourself for accepting them. If you feel like crying, cry and that would be a helpful thing to do.
Then continue to give yourself opportunities to feel good and to feel in control. Manufacture those opportunities and continue to do so even if half the time it is obvious you're manufacturing them. Add this to framing these experiences in some way that means they are still under YOUR control. Even if that means being random and unpredictable in the things you do to show yourself you are in charge of yourself and even if these start out as little moments of being in charge of you, make a point to notice how often you are controlling your body/experience.
You might also do a ritual to return your individual self energy to you, and release his to him. The wording isn't terribly important and it could be very simply done. You could add something about "on all levels and all times" to cover your previous interactions. Realize that you really can shift this experience if, as you read this idea, you felt like it is impossible to achieve the goal. You definitely would want to change thoughts like that.
I might also suggest taking a break from spiritual pursuits (sorry haven't read every post but in case you are still focusing on spiritual[ism] or energy you might want to shift to a very earthy way of living your life. Lots of strenuous (for you, but also safe) exercise, heavy foods, any activity that feels very grounded. And shift so your thoughts and pursuits are also focused on very earthy activities and topics. Think living like a skeptic or atheist who is also physically active. That could also alter your energy body in support of your goal.
You could also try working with the ritual outlined by Diane Stein with the Lords of Karma. It involves a very particular phrasing that covers all the lifetimes, and levels, past and present. I don't really offer this as a service because I don't like the idea of intervening in karmic issues. But if you would like to explore this, you could learn how to do the process for yourself through this text
. I like it because it involves reflecting on what we are possibly trying to learn from an experience and it is a pretty broadly phrased ritual so it's set up to take care of, say, little agreements made 'long ago' or little agreements somehow made between aspects in the in-between phases. Things like that.
Aside from that I would really suggest focusing on your joy, your lightness, your physicality. And also reframe these moments where you previously understood or viewed it as his influence. Pick something that seems harmless, innocuous, completely in your control, and assign that meaning from this point forward.
I would also suggest some selfishness. Yes, really. That will help you train yourself to shift to an inward focus by default... and that will shift the patterns in your energy associated with external influence. Meditation is one way (I suggest approaching even meditation in a very physically-active-atheist kind of way), but really just focus on putting yourself first, asserting your preferences and boundaries - even in moments that are completely unrelated to this situation. Verbalizing your boundaries will help also, possibly more so, even in unrelated settings. Combining this with the above suggestion to do very earthy things and turn it into a habit will enhance the benefits of both.
You might also try the Astral Dynamics forum, or try Robert Bruce's book on psychic self-defense. It might be that you have some old trauma images stored, that you could work with and become more slippery, energetically. Definitely if you know of any past traumatic experiences, it would probably benefit you to do some conscious work on them whether through the methods in Bruce's book or art therapy (self-directed or otherwise) or journaling or work with a professional counselor for those things.
Note I'm not speaking of quick fixes here, but rather small adjustments to your way of being that will, over time, make your energy much harder to influence because it would alter your whole vibration. Hypnosis to adjust the subconscious patterns would intensify the work and possibly quicken it. I am available for email-based coaching if you would want more specific support with any of these suggestions, though I'll say the ultimate force of change would still be you.
I offer intuitive tools and resources and support for folks who are ready/choosing to shift things for themselves, and I offer energetic snapshots of situations or decisions, but if you want a more hands-on intervention type of support where you are not as active in the process, you might prefer something like what Merrick1 offered you, or you might want to hire a shaman who specializes in intrusions. You may also want to look into hiring a Spirit Releasement Practitioner/Therapist, though of course check out the various offers and pick one that you feel good about. This particular method relies largely on hypnosis, and though it's generally for disembodied energy you may come across some who have experience with the dynamics you described.
Anyway, that's briefly what I would suggest in your situation. I'd also suggest doing things that lift you up emotionally, even better if they are also heavy on earth energy. Rigorous exercise that leads to that jolt of feelgood chemicals is one example of what you could do for this. Spend about thirty minutes a day with your bare feet on the grass too, if you can - and use this time to reflect on very earthy/grounded topics, or clear your mind as you do it, or use the time to consciously energize the kind of experience you would prefer in your life.
That's about all I have on the topic. royster, thank you for bringing it to my attention. I've had so very much going on with my services and other things that I've not had much time to keep checking around here - so thanks so much for letting me know about this thread!
Irisha, feel free to let me know if you have any questions about what i said here, through a reply or a private message or you can get in touch through my site. I hope this sorts out for you, at any rate.