Irisha....I have experienced something myself not quite of this nature, but what you described rang many many bells with me, put it that way. I do not want to describe what I experienced not here, not now. Like you, what I would have to say could fill a whole book. And I tried to write it, but haven't managed to do that yet. The task feels beyond me. And since I got "out" of that position (using nothing and no help but my own sheer angry Will, because I could find no-one who could do the job for me) -I have only wanted to concentrate on a simple life, and have up to this point tried to shut it all out, and get on with living.
But I totally empathize with your position, in deep deep ways.
I wonder...are you familiar with the writer Dion Fortune (Violet Mary Firth)? She wrote a book called "Psychic Self Defense" and other useful books. She wrote before the 2nd world war mostly, so many things she says sound quite dated, but still she has a lot of wisdom, occult strength, and common sense, which are timeless. There may be something in that book, or other of her books which might help you.