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A final word. Americans are different from Brits. Some time in the last 50 years, you overtook us on the politeness, embarassment and status front (cf Desparate Housewives, all about these things) and so I imagine whether I come across as very harsh. I would defend myself by saying that I am more in touch with my feelings than most Americans. And I am happy with that I lived in the US for nearly five years, so I do not speak out of my ass.
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I don't know very many Brits, but I think this is true. I also remember reading a paper or an essay or something that stated that the Brits and the Americans are at the bottom of the list in the developed world in like every category in terms of wellness (like depression, suicides, etc...)
It's a very bad thing in my mind, because I think it's evidence to the degree in which we supplicate ourselves to our surroundings as the default thing to do. We have to be cautious around others rather than just being ourselves and confident in our ability to handle what comes to us.
With regards to the rest of your post(s), it's funny how life can get screwed up and all of a sudden the challenge emerges of how to right yourself.
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Going back to Pavlina's post it seems that you yourself suggest that you are pushing YOURSELF away (you talk about it in terms of your mother) rather than getting close to yourself.
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I think that's a fairly accurate assumption. I've been getting warning signs that I'm doing that from a couple of sources (in other ways) and I can feel it even if I don't want to feel it.
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As for you Medaille, I do wonder whether you should be feeling your anger before you are so quick to reason it away. I know you feel you are happy this way - and if you are, then good for you - but it seems like a lot of work to keep these feelings in check. Why do this if feeling them instead allows them to pass.
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I think we are in agreement on this point. I wasn't saying don't feel. I was just saying don't choose to be angry. I know at times in my past I've felt angry, and then I noticed it, then I kept feeling angry and got some pleasure out of it. It was as if my anger justified what I was feeling. Like because I was angry, the XX source that caused my anger was wrong and thus I could justify that being angry was ok because XX was bad.
In actuality, XX wasn't bad and I was just being angry because I wanted to externalize the blame. XX just happened, and I chose to be angry and in the process, ignored my personal responsibility in taking the action necessary to be happy given the circumstances I found myself into.
How'd the dinner party go?