| | New Phase
I am entering a new and exciting phase of my life. I have started a Make Up course in fashion and bridal make up and I love it. I am also attending a weekly art class and practising my fashion drawings.
I am really enjoying doing my current courses and looking forward to getting some work experience in the fashion industry. I do find the focus on weight and bodies confronting but I recognise that I just need to step back from that anxiety. Not personalise it or judge it but concentrate on doing what I love.
I am learning more about my body on a physical level and how it works. I am going to go to the library and borrow a few books on the human anatomy to broaden my knowledge. I never payed much attention in Science because I deeemed it boring. As it turns out I now find it quite interesting on a basic level.
I have been reading books about how to manage my health and accepting the medical conditions that I have developed as a result of my ED. Previously, I have either denied their existence completely or tried to use them to manipulate my treatment team. I am now jus understanding how to feed my body properly, what healthy exersize looks like and the brain chemistry and effects of medication. Its been really postive because I have stopped relying on outside sources to help and began to look for more natural long term resources like learning yoga and meditation.
I am trying to take responsibility for organising my own health as at the moment I leave it all up to my doctor and just mindlessly comply. I am finding it difficult as within my family everyone is following the established patterns and subtly resisting the changes. Which while completely normal is annoying but Rome wasn't built in a day and I'll persist.