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Originally Posted by Angela  What is it that limits you, the root cause of which stretches back for generations? |
Interesting that you see it that way. I feel that what limits me are my morals and general cowardice. I'm a very extreme sort of person, capable of very rapid and thorough adaptations so I suppose I've always felt a kind of anxiety about just how far I might go. I'm also just about devoid of regret or remorse so I don't even have that to keep me in check. If you further throw in things like the Law of Attraction, I've had some profoundly strange results which I would feel were against conventional ethics if caused deliberately (example, if an ATM gives me some extra money I don't mind it just happening but "magic"-ing an ATM into it would be theft).
However, I interpret the dragon thing differently. You see, I think my grandfather has had a richer, more fulfilling life than my father who's had a more fulfilling life than me (in reality). I imagine this stretches back generations to, at some point, greatness (at least in the dream). Possibly relevant is to mention that my paternal ancestry has some potential ties to some old Italian royalty I've never really looked into but that might not be here nor there.
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Is it an unconscious belief, tradition, family trait, or grudge? What is it that held your father back that is there for you to deliberately "kill off" or, if you don't, will die out on its own when you die (or be passed on to your son)?
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Either you have a very radical style of interpretation or I'm not expressing myself well. I think it has more to do with somehow doing more with my life than my family itself.
This is going to sound messed up but I think in the dream the proper thing to do would have been to kill him. Violently, in graphic single combat. I think that here patricide is representative of something really horrible that no one should ever have to do. Yet it was what I had to do to carry on the legacy and come to terms with what I really was. The other "correct" choice would have been to wash my hands of it altogether. Simply ignore what I was and die as an ordinary man. That would have been the end of the legacy but all things do come to an end. My father would have been disappointed but it would still be a respectable choice. The thing is, I took a third option. An easy coward's option. Kill him on his deathbed without even looking him in the eye. This was a terrible choice. I wanted the power and the legacy but I didn't want to have to earn it. I wanted to be a dragon without having to become one. I wanted to attain greatness by treacherously murdering a frail old man rather than fighting a dragon in all its wrath and glory.
In the end I made the choice to attain greatness with no sacrifice. I tried to take what wasn't mine and instead of continuing or ending a legacy I perverted it. Someone who kills a defenseless old man can never be great or moral. You could say I betrayed both my father and myself instead of simply picking one or the other. Or you could say my greed and insecurity betrayed both of us.
Either way it was a pretty interesting dream and I'm trying to glean what I can from it.