thanks, Medaille.
Not sure about the guilt thing.
It's interesting, isn't it?, how we (laypeople and therapists) can come to such opposite conclusions about what the 'best' course of action is.
I personally believe that, unless you face negative emotions (which never go away, even if you don't think about them) you will never learn to handle them. I recently experienced through meditation extreme fear, anger and pain with accompanying sobbing. These things I have not really focussed on before. I think the danger is actually seeing them as negative. Fear is most useful if one is being chased by a bear. I think focusing on the positives a la NLP and - I'm gathering - Pavlina - provided you are able to experience 'bad' stuff, too. I wouldn't have changed my experiences with pain and rage for the world. I am grateful to have felt these things. At least I know I am human! And now they can't bother me in the same way. It's important for me to be non-judgemental about what I am feeling - no point getting angry about being angry! - so that I can let my body hear what it has to say to itself without getting caught in a knot.
I totally agree that one should not dwell on bad THOUGHTS; that is totally counter to meditative practices. I like to think of it as a pie (weirdly) If I want to meditate on, say, anger (hopefully less of it every week) then I think of something that makes me angry, then I whip off the crust (the angry thought) and then focus on the phsycical feeling of the anger (the meat - or carrots if one is a veggie) I study it. It's familiar to me now and it's not threatening. If it comes up when I am not meditating, then I can recognise it. Actually for me fear is normally followed by anger. I think that's pretty usual. And pain is underneath hiding beneath these two bullies.
I am pretty secure in replying in this way, because I know that this way of behaving has a good 2,500 year history. One can meditate on anything in this way and thus lessen the effect. If you don't believe in the lessening of the physical reserve of pain, then at least you can see the benefit of knowing your enemies. So when you feel this feeling that can cause one to say and do terrible things to other people, you know how to feel it rather than act on it. Lust, obsessive behaviour, the list goes on really.
No, I think you have to experience emotions - good and bad - and not judge them in order to work through them. Literally, I believe you have to face them. Certainly for me there would be no joy in my life if I simply tried to ignore them. There wasn't for 25 years. Now it's mostly joy and gladness of being alive that I feel.
xx
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