Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post

medaille · 05-17-2007, 03:48 PM

Here are a couple things that I notice in your posts.

I feel uncared for by my boyfriend sometimes. It makes me sad. I smoke (tryin' ta stop) but it doesn't make me sad that I am not caring for myself.
...
If I apply my bf's not caring to my own not caring, I can see that I am saddened that I treat myself badly.

I feel guilt in these statements.

In the rest of your posts, I get the impression that you are focusing on the negative things in your life and more specifically the negative things that are happening to you by either other people or by the part of your brain you can't control perfectly.

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Guilt and negativity will seriously get in the way of bettering your life. When you focus on negative things, its like everything you see starts to look negative. The world starts to look harsh and cruel.

I have always found that it's better to focus on the positives in life. Focus on what you see that's good around you. Just sit for a while and contemplate on where you want to go. Imagine what it would be like to be the person that you want to become. Imagine how they think and how they treat the people you want to change your relations with. How is that new version of you more loving to them? Spend a certain portion of time everyday while you are meditating or whenever you can focus on it just focusing on creating that new person in your mind. You really have to understand where you want to go in order to actually get there.

You'll find that the more you imagine what that new version of yourself is like, the more you start to become like that person and the better your life is.

God or whomever, gives us challenges in life so that we can grow and become better people. The bad things aren't bad. They are just warning signs that alert us to pay more attention to those things in our life and to get that handled. All bad experiences are just stepping stones to being a better person, you just have to make sure you are focused on what you want to become rather than expecting to get more and more bad things.

Also, I read somewhere that the things we dislike about others are the things we dislike about ourselves and conversely, the things we like about others are the things we like about ourselves.

I've found this really useful, because when people do things we dislike, it points out what we can do to make other people's lives better. All of a sudden everybody starts treating you better, because they're getting treated better.

05-17-2007, 03:48 PM	#20 (permalink)
medaille Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 105	Here are a couple things that I notice in your posts. Here are a couple things that I notice in your posts. I feel uncared for by my boyfriend sometimes. It makes me sad. I smoke (tryin' ta stop) but it doesn't make me sad that I am not caring for myself. ... If I apply my bf's not caring to my own not caring, I can see that I am saddened that I treat myself badly. I feel guilt in these statements. In the rest of your posts, I get the impression that you are focusing on the negative things in your life and more specifically the negative things that are happening to you by either other people or by the part of your brain you can't control perfectly. ------------- Guilt and negativity will seriously get in the way of bettering your life. When you focus on negative things, its like everything you see starts to look negative. The world starts to look harsh and cruel. I have always found that it's better to focus on the positives in life. Focus on what you see that's good around you. Just sit for a while and contemplate on where you want to go. Imagine what it would be like to be the person that you want to become. Imagine how they think and how they treat the people you want to change your relations with. How is that new version of you more loving to them? Spend a certain portion of time everyday while you are meditating or whenever you can focus on it just focusing on creating that new person in your mind. You really have to understand where you want to go in order to actually get there. You'll find that the more you imagine what that new version of yourself is like, the more you start to become like that person and the better your life is. God or whomever, gives us challenges in life so that we can grow and become better people. The bad things aren't bad. They are just warning signs that alert us to pay more attention to those things in our life and to get that handled. All bad experiences are just stepping stones to being a better person, you just have to make sure you are focused on what you want to become rather than expecting to get more and more bad things. Also, I read somewhere that the things we dislike about others are the things we dislike about ourselves and conversely, the things we like about others are the things we like about ourselves. I've found this really useful, because when people do things we dislike, it points out what we can do to make other people's lives better. All of a sudden everybody starts treating you better, because they're getting treated better.