| | Space
So I havbe stopped doing my eating disordered behaviors and now there is a void. An empty space...
I have been trying to fill that space by watching TV, reading books, cleaning and seeing my friends. It is not really working. I recognise that my Ed won't fill the void either, its just a temporary solution.
So now I am in that strange place where I can't go back. I think and plan to do something eating disordered and then it falls flat. I just walk away. The resounding thought is its not worth it.
My life feels a bit empty. I have purposefully been gentley disengaging from friendships with other people from hospital or my network of other unwell individuals. I have had enough of that world and want to experience something different.
I am now just looking for healthy things to fill my time. I feel an enormous craving for stimulation, new people, new places and new connections. I am intending to create a new social network. Its not really clear right now which direction I want to go in or exactly how I am going to form new connections but I have faith that it will all come together.