Quote:
Originally Posted by indestructible  I find that frequently guys project all of these things about how they want me to be, rather than listening and absorbing who I actually am. So - I would caution against that kind of projection. The 'dream girl' you imagine might be fun, but it is even more fun to get to know the real person in front of you. I am not trying to be sexist here either - I am sure women do it to men all the time too  . |
Agreed. I've been there and it's now something that I'm highly conscious of because of the misunderstanding that kind of projection can lead to.
The nature of perception means that the picture of another person you form in your mind is going to be inaccurate. Short of telepathy I don't think one human can really know another. None-the-less we can, over time, get to know each other well enough to live happy lives together *nods in JohnPlace's direction*. But we have to start by trying to really get to know each other.
Ultimately it means asking yourself, "do I feel this way because of what I
truly see in this person, or because of what I
want to see?"
And to get to see what's really there as opposed to what you want, when you're talking to that person, be curious and attentive, and then when your imagination starts to run wild, bring what you've discovered into the fantasy, rather than making it
all up.