Brutha: "Perhaps you could give examples of your behavior?
When was the last incident when you did it? Was it some internal voice talking crap?"
Last week, my gf received a (platonic) text from one of her male friends. Almost immediately, I felt pangs of torturous pain in my heart. I blew a stupid little text way out of proportion and created for myself immense suffering.
Another example- I pretty much wasted my day away today, worrying about my girlfriend cheating and being semi-depressed being so anxious about it. I have seriously never felt so much pain in my life! Logically, I know that I am being stupid, but that doesn't stop the brutal emotions and my doomsday/pessimistic thoughts from popping up.
And the scary thing is, my girlfriend is absolutely obsessed about me. And if I can't be secure with a girlfriend so attached and crazy about me, then how can I EVER be secure?
Basically, it would be a roller coaster ride for me- normally, I would be feeling alright, and I KNOW that my gf loves me and wouldn't cheat, etc. But when the pain comes, it completely takes me over. I cannot think rationally anymore, and the thoughts of her cheating completely overwhelms me. It almost feels like her cheating is REALITY- when in truth, it is a great lie fabricated by my mind.