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Old 11-09-2006, 08:51 PM   #26 (permalink)
placebo
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Join Date: Nov 2006
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I was also on collegge, living alone in a rented flat, losing motivation, aborted studying. Life simply didn't have purpose. Do you know that feeling when you come home in an empty place, then lie down and hear your heart pumping?

That strange feeling of mixed sadness and apathy show up then. And you think how easy it would be just to hurt yourself, destroy your existence. But you don't do it, you just keep thinking about it every day but never go till the end. Eventually, you start to like that feeling, you expect from it to show up every day. And as expected it shows up.

I believe that feeling is familiar to you. It is called depression. First step to feeling better was to realize that I have a problem. You've realized it too, good. Second step was to read all i could find about depression, why and when it appears.
Third and the hardest one was to decide that you want to feel better. Remember what i said, and confess to yourself that you started to like that feeling. You've adjusted to it, and you have to start hate it. You don't have to go to doctors, they will give you drugs. Drugs are chemicals and you don't need that, you have to change your thoughts.
I've also noticed that meeting someone new is pretty hard when you're down, especially get a girlfriend. It's some kind of magic circle. But my advice is to find a roomate or a girl. It is much easier when you have someone near you. In the begining it is hard to live with someone, as time goes by it starts getting better and better.

I'm on this last phase at the moment for about a year and a half. There are still days when i feel down but i simply don't allow myself to hit the bottom again. Now, Law Of Attraction is giving new dimension in my life. It is getting interesting...
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