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Originally Posted by introspective1  To answer the question, I do a little of both. Sometimes i get angry at my own random thoughts and realize it is my fault for thinking those thoughts.
However, if someone close to you knows your pet peeves and continues to pick at you over things that make you upset...well, that is hard to change. That's sort of an external thing
If someone dies in your family, you can't help but be sad at first. Every emotion is not immediately changeable.
I commend you for being able to control your emotions 100% but not everyone can do this. You are lucky
Dont beat us up for not being like you | The trick here is that "you" includes your subconscious habits. "You choose how you respond to things emotionally" is true, but that doesn't mean that you can instantly will any and all changes you like. Some emotional changes require you to prime your subconscious habits in advance.
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When people see things as beautiful, ugliness is created.
When people see things as good, evil is created.
When the way is forgotten, 'morality' and 'piety' need to be taught.
-Dao De Jing, Chapter 2
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