ROFL
I loved reading this thread. I would like to applaud the OP for his attempt at classical Greek oratory. It missed the mark a bit, and I think it may not even work in modern times but it was fun anyway.
For those of you that might not know it I offer my best recollection of foundation 'Myth' for this:
One day in the forum there was an especially long winded discussion of some trivial matter. Each man in turn taking the floor and expounding at some length on the topic. After a while Diogenes, who had yet to speak, pulled up his toga and began masturbating in ernest. Now the Greeks were a bit more sexually permissive so people didn't run and scream or call the cops, but even they were a bit shocked. Finally someone said
"This is not the place for doing things like that." (or words to that effect)
To which Diogenes replied "Oh, what do you do here then?"
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