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Originally Posted by DQueens  i always end up smoking now and then with friends and everytime i do, i regret it because it makes me feel disconnected, depressed and lonely. i felt this way in september one night when i got high. i felt that i could see my friends for waht they truely were, and my life for what it was, and i didnt like it. i thought i was just thinking crazy until the next day and following weeks where the feelings werent going away. life seemed so meaningless, i didnt know what i wanted from it anymroe, and i didnt like my life as it was. however, the feeling was not quite as strong nad persistant as when i was high. i feel that getting high raises your awareness at an even quicker pace than personal growth, that's what it felt like to me. it was like a rush of coming into realization about life, and the fact that it was such a large amount of realization and awareness in a short time is probably what depressed me. I think that i should get high again, to get some more answers about my state of awareness, but i'm scared because the last time was a pretty unpleasant experience for me. however, now i kind of know what i want in life and what truely matters to me. perhaps another burst of consciouness will benefit me? |
Maybe someone else replied to this (I didn't read to the end of the thread) but even though this freaked you out the first time, this is actually the sort of realizations people are trying to unlock via meditation. By having this all come to the surface you have been able to deal with it. If weed is having this profound meditative effect on you, don't give it up. Instead you need to learn EQUANIMITY. That means accepting your thoughts and emotions without judgment. It's a Buddhist concept.
Basically those feelings were there anyway - just buried. Weed uncovered them. That is literally what people are trying to achieve every day with meditation - so that they may integrate those feelings with equanimity. All of those realizations could have signified to you that it's time to move on with your life and go in a new direction, for example.